A Bored Dean is a Dangerous Dean
by officespace
Summary: Castiel learns an important lesson when he tries to interact with a very board Dean.


Things had been pretty slow back at the bunker for the Winchester Brothers and their favorite ex-angel. It was actually pretty quiet, a case dead zone which was boring everyone to tears. Though boredom never seemed to bother Sam, it was making Dean stir-crazy. His sighs and grunts of displeasure could be heard all over the bunker, a warning sign that the eldest brother was near his breaking point. Sam stayed clear of his brother, knowing better to make himself seen around a bored Dean. Castiel, however, newly human, had not mastered the skill of mood reading and it wouldn't be long until the snare snapped.

Sam watched from his computer as Castiel inched dangerously close to Dean as he cleaned and tinkered with objects around the bunker. Sam wanted to warn his friend, but better him than him. Sam sighed and resigned Castiel to his fate. Cas needed to learn how to pick up on Dean's mischievous ways, especially if he was going to live there with them.

Dean eyed Castiel in annoyance. Even though he was human, he never seemed to get bored or restless. He was just like his angel self, but now he also ate up all the food and hogged the bathroom in the morning. Dean would never forget the hell he and Sam went through when Cas got shampoo in his eyes. Living with Castiel could be a complete chore sometimes. Dean watched Cas dust the bookshelves for the sixth time this week and grunted loud enough for the now human to hear.

Castiel felt an involuntary twitch in his eyes as he paused in his cleaning. He was not so dense that he could not tell that Dean was not in a good mood. He could not understand the Winchester's anger. The bunker was new to him as well, despite them living there for over three years. He could distinctly remember on numerous occasions Dean raving about something new he had found or discovered.

After another loud grunt, Castiel could not resist the urge to turn around and ask his friend what was wrong. He placed his feather duster on the edge of the shelf and relaxed. If Dean was, in fact, irritated it would be best if he approached him calmly.

Castiel turned to him.

"Don't" Dean cut him off before he could speak. He was sure Cas had another dumb question that he was not in the mood of answering.

"Dean."

"Hey, unless you're offering a plate full of bagel bites and a six pack I don't want to hear it."

Castiel rolled his eyes. He could clearly tell Dean was still upset about him eating his frozen food. How was Castiel supposed to know he was craving them after last month's hunt. Castiel was still very new to this eating thing. Though he didn't care for most human food he was prone to trying new things and so far all he'd succeeded in was pissing off his bunkmates.

"Dean, I'm sorry I ate your bagel bites."

"Yeah." Dean rolled his eyes as he laid slouched back on the couch. He was hungry as hell and bored as hell with an empty bunker and nothing to do.

Castiel sighed. Something in his gut was telling him to leave Dean alone, but he felt guilty about eating his only food. Money was tight and all they had to eat was a bunch of mini bags of chips, peanut butter and jelly, and old Halloween candy from last month. Castiel sighed and searched his mind for a solution when he heard Dean shift on the couch.

Castiel looked up, only to find Dean's big green eyes staring back at him. Castiel blushed a little, feeling nervous under the hunter's gaze.

"Hey, I got an idea." The now suddenly bubbly Dean proposed. "How about a bet?"

Castiel tilted his head and squinted his eyes. He knew Dean was a gambler and a very good one at that. He also knew that it would be unwise to enter into a challenge with him, but Castiel took the bait, if for nothing else but to appease his unhappy roommate.

"Go on."

"How about we have a little food eating contest? Loser buys dinner, Sam included."

Castiel eyed Dean suspiciously. He knew better than to accept a bet without knowing the conditions. "What's the challenge?"

"You in?" Dean's face lite up.

"Details first."

"Cas you're no fun." Dean sighed, but the ex-angel did not budge. "Fine, it's simple." Dean fished into the bowl of leftover Halloween candy behind him and grabbed a handful of bagged gummies. "First to finish five bags of these wins." Dean presented the ten bags of mini Haribo gummies to Cas to inspect.

Castiel was naturally suspicious but agreed. The challenge seemed easy enough and they did have a lot of leftover Halloween candy. If Dean thought his natural gluttonous abilities would help him win he was sorely mistaken. After all, Dean was known to milk his wins so losing was not an option.

Dean clasped his hands together. "Alright!" He stood and walked into the kitchen to grab two glasses of water. "Don't forget loser buys dinner for everyone!" Dean shouted from the kitchen.

When Dean returned Castiel had already opened all the bags and placed them on a napkin on each end of the coffee table.

"Hey, you cheating?" Dean stared accusingly.

"No, just eliminating the barrier of plastic for our challenge, just in case."

"Just in case what? Just in case I cheat." Dean rolled his eyes dramatically. "When have I ever cheated?"

Castiel stared at him with the straightest face.

"Okay, well I didn't cheat on this one. Each pack has."

"Six candies each, multiplied by five is thirty." Castiel spits back as if he had already read Dean's mind.

Dean chuckled, he wasn't even surprised. "Yeah okay, you didn't mix my pile?" Dean inspected his gummies.

Castiel ignored the urge to tell Dean he may have dropped a few on the ground, but he made sure to evenly give out both ground touched gummies and clean ones. "No."

"Good, cause I'll know. You ready?" Dean placed Castiel's glass of water in front of him.

Castiel nodded.

"Alright. On my mark. Get ready. GO!"

Dean and Castiel scarfed down the sweet gummy treats as if their lives depended on it. Neither wanted to pay for dinner tonight and be stuck with the monster bill that was sure to come. Cups were slammed, gummies bears flew in the air, and fouls were called, but the challenge produced a winner. Dean jumped in the air and shouted, just as Sam walked in to see the two in the den.

"YEAH!" Dean boasted proudly. "Sam! Dinner's on Cas tonight baby!"

Sam smiled uninterestedly. He had already resigned to his fate of chips and peanut butter and jelly.

"YEAH BABY! YEAH!" Dean shook his chiseled hips, showing off his predominate cock lines. "How's it feel Cas!" Dean rubbed it in.

Castiel winced. "Not very good." He muttered as he started to double over.

"What?" Dean leaned in, grinning ear to ear at the desired effect.

Castiel let out a little toot and Dean giggled to himself.

"Excuse me!" Castiel got up and ran to the bathroom.

"Yeah!" Dean laughed until a knot in his gut brought him to his knees. "Oh shit."

Sam shook his head. When Dean was bored, no one was safe, not even Dean.

~4 Hours Later~

"Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!" Dean cried from the bathroom. Why in all his rotten luck did they only have one working bathroom?

Castiel laid against the tub half dressed, shirt open, pants off. He was a ball of sweat and panting like a dog, with his dark brown hair sticking to his face.

"My turn, my turn," Castiel said in complete exhaustion.

"Oh shit! Waaaaiiiiiitttt." Dean passed another liquid mass from his bowels and staggered to lift his arm to flush the toilet.

He was sure he would die from dehydration if this continued. Dean collapsed to the group to allow Castiel onto the toilet. He didn't care where he landed and flopped right next to Cas who had his back facing him.

"Your, your go."

Castiel nodded, between cold sweats, with his arms around his stomach as he struggled to move. Castiel rolled back onto Dean with his butt on Dean's thigh and let out the longest and far from refreshing cool fart Dean had ever felt. Dean groaned and took pleasure in the cool smelly air. His body was on fire and any air felt good on his sweaty skin.

"I'm-I'm sorry Dean." Castiel blurted out.

"Its-its okay Cas." Dean patted Cas on the back, but completely missed and smacked his butt.

Castiel perked up and Dean blushed. There was no need to apologize, his face said it all. The two sat there together in the eye of the storm, making a vow to never eat a single gummy bear again.

The next day, Sam was ready with soup and water. He had a little money left and made a quick grocery store run for his two hopeless roommates. He shook his head at the bundled up pair laying on the couch together. He hoped the two had learned their lesson, whatever it was. Sam eyed the package of gummy bears.

"Sugar-free?" Sam scanned the package for the fine print. "Do not eat more than one bag of sugar-free gummies in one setting, contents may have laxative effects on the consumer." Sam tossed the bag into the trash and shook his head. He nursed his cup of coffee as he watched a passed out Castiel leaning on a zonked out Dean.

"I hope you learned your lesson." Sam took another sip. "Both of you." Before heading back to the study.


End file.
